Protobikes

I had my first CBT type phone counselling session this morning. I was pretty dubious about it, but it was really good, though I was shaking and sobbing for a few mins afterwards. The counsellor is going to send me some things on relaxation and mindfulness. I have done some of the former before, but I need a refresher.

Next week I will be on leave, so I plan to get on with some of my tasks and projects.

I am getting a bit concerned about the slip-ups. I have forgotten to buy petrol twice recently. The first time I managed to roll onto the garage forecourt. Last night it hadn’t quite stopped when I parked for Otilia’s birthday do. I was on time, which means early for Andy, so I had time to walk to a nearby garage and buy a can.

It was a good do, though predominantly Brazillian so not much chance to communicate. The Brazil/England match was showing on a big screen, but when that had finished there was music and dancing.  Brazillian/Latin pop. Little Lily really got into it. Her elder brother Riley was flinging himself around. The Brazilians, especially the women, danced very well. I’m afraid I was not brave enough to get up, despite my first aclohol of the year. 3 tiny bottles of San Miguel. I left at about 11:00, when it was still in full swing. I used Andy’s camera to take some pics. If he sends me some I will add them.

Before that at lunch time I went to spin class for the first time in a year. Very tough, but I just about stayed with it. The instructor was new to me. A tall skinny bloke with a haircut. Very much a ‘bloke’ with a rough gravelly voice. Still, he ran a good class.

During the afternood I had a 6 month ‘PDR’. I think that is a personal development review. Most of us have these things this days, disguised by various buzz words. I always find them uncomfortable, though it went OK. The boss wants me to manage the subcontractors who provide some IT support. Not something I think I will ever be able to do. Well, I’m allowed to fail some things.

The last week has had a few slip ups. I got the date for Otilias birthday wrong. It is tomorrow. Thought it was a bit quiet when I arrived at the restaurant. The Brazillian grapevine went into overdrive and Andy knew by 10:00 that night. On Saturday I went for a dental appointment which was actually today and I forgot to phone my counsellor on Monday. She called me. Last session with her. I am quite a bit better but still taking it slow. I have a CBT type phone appointment on Friday morning.

I had got up early for the dentists so I did some shopping for tools and things to work on the door. Still not finished but I have made the metal plate to reinforce it. I will epoxy it in place to fill the gaps caused by my dodgy carpentry.

I nearly didn’t walk on Sunday, but eventually dragged myself out. I climbed the steep hill twice then walked back through the woods. They are sodden and the paths are swamps so I had to cut through between the trees. No nettles this time of year so it was possible, but hard work. Legs acheing a little.

I wrote to the landlord who owns the house next door. I’ve had problems with him in the past. This time I am just asking if I can put a bird nesting box on the gable end of his new garage.

I am thinking about going to spin class tomorrow. I have a 6 month work review with the boss. I could do with taking my mind off it. Nothing to fear really, but I don’t look forward to them even when on top form.

I’m about to add some more to the Bikes page.

Last week continued as busy as before, but I made some progress on a few things by the end of it.

Good weekend. Actually got up and did things on Saturday. Got my glasses fixed so they don’t fall off nearly as much. Took some CD storage units I don’t need to Oxfam. Posted photos to Steve A. Recycled batteries. Worked on the front door. The Yale lock was damaged by an intruder a while ago. I’ve been having to use the deadlock all the time. Repaired the door jam but need to to add a metal reinforcer before it is finished. Bought 3 Jo Nesbos from the local charity book shop, which I had not visited before. 

Didn’t do much on Sunday except a brisk two and a half hour walk. Legs not so stiff afterwards this time. I thought about going with a walking group but they started at 09:30 and I didn’t.

If I have a good weekend, Monday is always more of a shock to the system. A pile of new problems to resolve. Some done, some not.

I’ve been going through a CBT self help guide. As I am a bit better, some examples are hard to find over the last couple of weeks. The one that made me laugh was the week planner. It covers 9am to 7pm. On Monday to Friday that is entirely taken up with work and preparing and travelling, so I don’t need to plan that!

Tonight Otilia has a birthday celebration at Gostosa in Harlesden. Should be fun, though I am still on the wagon. Driving anyway.

Franticly busy week so far. Have added more to My Bikes. Snowing again tonight.

Last Friday I actually felt happy! It just came on me. Maybe the snow and the higher light levels, maybe just change from routine. Rather a lazy Saturday, but a brisk hour and a half walk in the snow on Sunday. My legs are feeling it today. Seems like the extra care needed is quite hard work. Lots of people out sledging.

For once I have been quite busy. On Friday I did some more of the My Bikes page. On Saturday I did some clearing up, a tip run and replaced the PIR light over the front door. This morning was quite lazy but I went for a brisk walk this afternoon. I took a steep path up Egham Hill (wheeze wheeze), cut through a path through the old Brunel campus and came down through St Peters Hill Woods. I was surprised to find quite a few tents and benders in the woods. It turned out to be this http://diggers2012.wordpress.com/. The old campus has been unused and neglected for some time. It includes part of the woods. Very muddy. There is a stand of redwood trees just inside the old campus fence.

I ate and loafed a while after I got home, then transferred my Battle Mountain posts to their page.

I have an appointment with my doctor in the morning.

A quiet weekend and a very busy week. Some progress clearing the house up.

Monday was pretty full on. It started with a call from an NHS therapy organisation, for an assessment. Did I mention I’ve been depressed? Then I had psyched myself up to discuss my work project problems with the boss. We have to replace the servers, but getting a spec agreed and work started is rather beyond my knowledge so very difficult. The discussion was easier than I expected. The issue has been around for over a year. I plan to get it moving this month. Also crossed a few more things off the list. Then home and for a phone therepy session with the company therapist. After that, over to Andy Foreys as Jerry And Julia were staying over before flying out to Brazil to get married. What a rollercoaster!

I am feeling quite a bit better, but taking small steps.

This week I was trying to get on with some of my work tasks, but a database problem took half the week. Most of the rest was spent on end of month reports.

The weekend before New Year I stayed with my oldest friend Jonathon Loose, his wife Gale, her friend Philleda, and neice Rachel, his daughter Helen and her boyfriend Paul. Very nice house in Kingstone Winslow in the Vale of the White Horse. On Sunday some of us walked round the White Horse, with Helen’s dog Beach. When we got back Rachel was playing guitar and the mandolin she got for Christmas. She also plays piano and trumpet and sings beautifully. We stumbled through some music together. Delightful.

I went for a late beer at the local and bought a ticket for the New Year do, but I didn’t go. Drank a few glasses of wine and went to bed.

Since then I’ve been booze free and back at work. Not quite as difficult as I expected.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,600 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.